Help lay Shadow to rest.
After being stable for the last few months, I am sad to announce that Shadow’s condition, Geriatric Onset Laryngeal Paralysis Polyneuropathy, or GOLPP, has taken a quick turn. Suddenly, it is severely affecting his quality of life and it’s time to make end-of-life arrangements.
My intention has always been to have the vet come to my home, making it as peaceful and stress free for him as possible. Afterward, I’d to lay him to rest in the garden with his brother, Luke.
Unfortunately, I have learned from his veterinarian that:
1) I’m going to have to bring him to the office. The travel fees tacked on to home visits in my rural area are extremely high. It would be over $1,100 just for the visit and basic euthanasia, even before talk of cremation. That puts it above $1500.
-AND-
2) The ground is frozen and I cannot dig a proper grave. Cremation is my only option.
Due to his size, the euthanasia and cremation is more expensive than I expected, especially if I want his ashes back, and of course, I do.
I am ashamed to admit that I am not financially prepared to provide for him in the way he deserves. I thought we’d have more time together, that I’d have the winter to squirrel away the cash. I really thought he would make it to see the spring blooms. It just isn’t meant to be.
So, here I am, asking you to help me lay my best friend to rest.
Here is a breakdown of the costs involved for the in-office appointment for transparency.
Office visit and euthanasia only for his size- $214.00+
PLUS:
1. Cremation with return of ashes: + $675.00 (Total cost: $889)
2. Cremation without ashes returned, with paw print: + $455 (Total cost: $669)
If you would like to help lay Shadow to rest, I would be forever in your debt.
Thank you for reading, and for loving my sweet boy through the years.
With a broken heart,
-C
C.B. Mottor’s debut chapbook, Tempered Edges: A Reclamation, is a raw, lyrical blend of vulnerability & punk-rock defiance that confronts societal expectations with a call to rise & reclaim our authentic selves.
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C.B. Mottor’s Tempered Edges: A Reclamation is a searing debut that lays bare the raw edges of human experience with unflinching honesty and defiant resilience. This confessional poet’s raw emotional depth is tempered by a punk-rock defiance that rejects traditional notions of femininity and obedience. Through vivid imagery and a voice that oscillates between tender vulnerability and fierce rebellion, Mottor’s poems explore themes of identity, societal expectation, and personal transformation. Each piece is a fragment of lived truth, reflecting the struggle to reclaim one’s authenticity in a world that demands conformity. From the biting critique of gendered norms in “MIS(S)FIT” to the aching introspection of “Worth,” Mottor’s work confronts the reader with questions of self-worth, belonging, and the cost of carving out a space to exist unapologetically. Mottor’s style is both visceral and lyrical, blending sharp, conversational rhythms with haunting metaphors that linger long after the page is turned. Tempered Edges is not just a collection but a declaration of survival and rebirth. In “Phoenix,” Mottor summons the reader to rise from the ashes of past selves, while “Ballad” and “Façade” trace the quiet courage of breaking free from toxic cycles. This chapbook is a powerful call to embrace one’s strength through poetry that challenges, heals, and empowers.
A Shadow Dog Press Pocket Chapbook.
Release Date: 1/1/2026
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- 6,591 visits
Pretty Poison
I know,
you wanted
a prize-winning
rose in bloom,
not this dandelion
growing from the crack
in your walkway.
Someday you’ll learn
pretty petals
laced with pesticides
don’t compare
to healing brews
and granted wishes.
-C.B. Mottor